It may surprise you to learn that on the list of gifts that a man should never give a woman, there are none! Given the right circumstances, even a sack of manure could delight an avid gardener in need of fertilizer. It is not the physical, tangible gift that must be avoided as much as it is a gauche and tactless manner of presentation. Nearly any gift will be appreciated if the conditions are right and if you have the finesse to pull it off.
That said, there are many gifts a man must think long and hard about before presenting them to his beloved:
Gifts that make her feel like a maid
Vacuum cleaners, dish towels, cleaning supplies, and small appliances are normally gifts to avoid. On the other hand, if she shows more affection toward her dog than she does toward you, giving her a pooper-scooper may establish you as a fellow with a droll sense of wit.
Gifts that make her feel like a strumpet
Avoid obvious sex toys in favour of gifts that subtly hint at romance. You want to let her know you find her sexy without making her feel used. Give gifts for her happiness, not yours.
Gifts that remind her of your mother
This can be a veritable minefield because such a gift could be most anything. If your mum is better at something than your sweetheart, avoid gifts related to that area. The trick is to make sure that your gift doesn’t make her feel like you expect her to live up to your mother’s standards.
Gifts that make you look clueless
Nothing screams that you’re clueless and oblivious to a woman’s penchants and tastes louder than a gift card. Even if you spend less than five minutes purchasing her gift, it ought to appear as if you had put a lot of thought into it. Other errors in this category include wrong colours, wrong sizes, and tickets to the tractor pull when her heart is set on the ballet, or vice versa.
Gifts that make her feel ugly
Only an extraordinary relationship can survive and thrive after a gift of membership to a weight-loss club. Avoid self-improvement books and gifts of exercise equipment unless she has hinted that she wants them. Giving acne cream is usually a no-no. A gift card for the pharmacy/chemist would be safer!
Gifts that make her see you as cheap.
Thrifty is good. Cheap is not. Until you know a person well, it can be difficult to foresee which reaction an otherwise economical gift might elicit. Never buy gifts of inferior quality, no matter what the price. If she is special, the gift should be too.